And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I love having hate sex.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
