You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
