i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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