her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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