i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
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