And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
