i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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