I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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