You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I have fence marks all over my body
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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