Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
