Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
