You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
