i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
