I think i peed on brittanys purse
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
