Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Randomize
