So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
