maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
