and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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