im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
