Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
bring money and cleavage
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize