Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
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