Pants 0. Shit 1.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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