You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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