bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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