Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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