yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
