You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I think I died a long time ago.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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