...so i touched it.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Randomize