i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Come share oat with me in your robe
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I have post one night stand depression
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
