My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
