Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Randomize
