we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
