As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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