I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
