OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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