I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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