You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
