At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
