Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Redeem this text for a blowjob
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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