I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
