oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
