she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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