Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Randomize
