Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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