Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
