Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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