Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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