i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize