i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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