it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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