I understand why you refuse to be sober now
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
