i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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