Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
My vagina just clenched in fear
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
