there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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