Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Church boner. Awkwardddd
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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