My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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