Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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