i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
