I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
