i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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