something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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