i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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