Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize