So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
