Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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