Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
